"Land_Yacht_225" (nadenator)
01/12/2016 at 11:59 • Filed to: None
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"Land_Yacht_225" (nadenator)
01/12/2016 at 11:59 • Filed to: None | 4
| 37 |
Every time one of these “new” Cadillac stooges come on to do one of their AMA’s they literally say nothing. They very fruitally and florally beat around the proverbial bush with their verbal potpourri. They tangent left and right and say some of the most verbose and sanctimonious drivel. It hurt to read.
Case in point: this question
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To which Ukulele Bimmerhaus brought forth the first example of the Cadillac self-righteous “we are not at war, because we don’t have to be” style that would flavor every response to being asked any question which compared Cadillac to any other brand:
“I simply dislike the term “flagship.” That reminds me of war, and we are not on our way to a war. The war is over.”
The war is over? Did you win? No, certainly not. That means you must have surrendered, since the overall feeling is that you quit playing!
In response to the suggestion of a vehicle with 8 or more cylinders:
“Again, we are not in war, full stop. A war about horsepower and cylinder count cannot be won. There will always be someone who delivers more. Who needs 1,001 horsepower?”
I don’t need 1,001 horsepower, but please, shit on the engineering marvel that is the Veyron. There is no winning in cylinder count, but having 12-cylinders seems to be a pretty exclusive thing to super-cars and real world-class luxury cars. Nobody wants to be a part of that club, huh? I hear they’re all stuffy pedants anyway.
AND PEOPLE DEFEND THIS CRAP!
This is why it is absolutely infuriating.
“Oh ho ho, We’re Cadillac and we don’t compete with other manufacturers because we don’t need to. We do our own derpity-derpy thing!”
YES YOU DO COMPETE YOU INSUFFERABLE OUT-OF-TOUCH ARROGANT MORONS! IT’S CALLED THE GLOBAL FUCKING MARKETPLACE!
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Ahem
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Sorry. I flew off the handle there.
The people who made the CTS-V think there is a limit to how much horsepower people really need?
The Escalade has cache in its name, it sells more than anything else in the lineup, and has the youngest buyers of the lineup. And he sticks to his guns about alphanumeric names.
And why is Escalade so well known? Rap music. But I’ve heard Coupe DeVille in plenty of songs...well, better to be associated with violence and crime than your sweet lovely cooking baking grandma, or your grandpa who takes you to cars and coffee in his ‘59 Eldorado Biarritz.
He claims other brands have more holes than they do in their lineup, while Cadillac’s entire lineup is “split-the-size-difference” by making cars that fit in the holes of everybody elses’ lineups, leaving some rather, shall we say, “standard” sized holes in their own.
It’s an entire brand of hypocrisy. God help us all.
Aaron M - MasoFiST
> Land_Yacht_225
01/12/2016 at 12:03 |
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As a former management consultant, allow me to formally welcome you to the wonderful world of marketing.
For Sweden
> Land_Yacht_225
01/12/2016 at 12:06 |
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Marketing is just a more formal form of shitposting
HammerheadFistpunch
> Land_Yacht_225
01/12/2016 at 12:09 |
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A marketing exec didn’t give strait answers about future products in an interview?! WHAAAA?! There are few more passionate care people in this world than land barge owners as it relates to the car companies they love as they exist in the present. True story: they aren’t going back.
RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht
> Land_Yacht_225
01/12/2016 at 12:11 |
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In short, the Cadillac of yesteryear? Among the first to have power accessories of every kind, V16s, stainless roofs, taller tailfins, bigger wheelbases, more interior cubic feet, smoother power delivery, innovative FWD big-blocks, the largest displacement V8 ever? PFFT. That’s the Cadillac we’re trading on the name of! Here, have a sharp-cornered Chevy with some foil tape on it.
Noah - Now with more boost.
> Land_Yacht_225
01/12/2016 at 12:22 |
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Yeah I was going to read that. And then I saw that he was marketing mgmt, so I didn’t!
Party-vi
> For Sweden
01/12/2016 at 12:33 |
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Shitposting is just a more formal form of Oppositelock posts.
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Party-vi
> Land_Yacht_225
01/12/2016 at 12:41 |
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/Shade
So what you’re saying is you want Cadillac, a company that is known for a $100k SUV, to compete with Bugatti, a VW product with a $1,000,000 price tag? Do you think Hyundai should start selling a full-size pickup in the US too?
In a market where the luxury marques are ditching high cylinder-count NA engines for smaller displacement forced induction engines you want Cadillac to do the dumbest thing imaginable and have GM foot the bill for a V12 or V16? Meanwhile, Cadillac sells oodles of their most profitable vehicle available and you think you can do better.
/endshade
Cash Rewards
> HammerheadFistpunch
01/12/2016 at 12:48 |
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It’s like people fail to realize that, for an exec at a global company like GM, everything you say at all times is representative of the entire company. Are you really expecting anything other than boilerplate responses just because it’s kinja? These are a neat opportunity for us, but just another press opportunity for them
DoYouEvenShift
> RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht
01/12/2016 at 12:49 |
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Sharp cornered Chevy? If anything, Chevys are soft cornered Cadillacs.
Also, I think Cadillac is doing better than ever, and Im sure Im not alone here.
Brian, The Life of
> Land_Yacht_225
01/12/2016 at 12:49 |
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I understand all of this frustration. I tried to pin him down yesterday, too, and he got pretty wormy with the infuriating marketing speak. I guess we should have seen that coming (from a mile away) but it is still maddening when you want to talk product strategy with a guy who knows damn well it is important and who knows damn well what his is but nonetheless pretends it doesn’t fucking exist.
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RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht
> DoYouEvenShift
01/12/2016 at 12:53 |
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Permit me just this once to engage in hipsterism over Caddy making *good* cars, even great cars, but not cars that are breaking boundaries and which (apparently) their marketing boffin would like to not even have competing directly with other cars at all. If the Caddy isn’t the sine qua non of American excess and elegance, it’s just not as *fun*, at least from an observer’s standpoint.
shop-teacher
> HammerheadFistpunch
01/12/2016 at 13:00 |
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I thought he was more forthcoming that most marketing people. Remember the Nissan Titan one last year? That one was an impossible waste of time.
yamahog
> Land_Yacht_225
01/12/2016 at 13:01 |
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Genuinely curious: what exactly would you want a marketing VP to realistically say (and keep their job) that would’ve assuaged any of your complaints about the brand?
DrJohannVegas
> Party-vi
01/12/2016 at 13:07 |
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My mom says I am the best at flinging shit at the walls.
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HammerheadFistpunch
> shop-teacher
01/12/2016 at 13:11 |
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so true.
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DoYouEvenShift
> RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht
01/12/2016 at 13:17 |
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What boundaries would you like to be broken?
I went from being an observer, to an owner a one point, and a CTSV is a lot of fun.
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RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht
> DoYouEvenShift
01/12/2016 at 13:28 |
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I can’t really say. Historically, a lot of Cad stuff was very out of left field and unique, so not to put too fine a point on it, “coming up with it is their job!”. Like I said, I’m being picky.
V12 Jake- Hittin' Switches
> Land_Yacht_225
01/12/2016 at 13:28 |
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THIS! I asked about the V12/16 as a way of competing with the S600/760, or in the V16's case, company heritage. But nooooo, who needs a V12 anyways, we’re not at war. But there is in fact a quantifiable market for a 12/16. He seemed like the very idea of a 12/16 was beneath Cadillac .
Mr. Ontop, No Strokes, No Smokes...Goes Fast.
> Party-vi
01/12/2016 at 13:40 |
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HEY HEY HEY! I resemble that remark! Wait...wat?
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DoYouEvenShift
> RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht
01/12/2016 at 13:45 |
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Like magnetoreological dampers that they debuted. And now everyone uses. Also at one point having the fastest sedan. Using night vision with a thermographic camera. Im sure theres more.
pauljones
> Party-vi
01/12/2016 at 13:54 |
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I think you just won Oppositelock for all time for that one.
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Land_Yacht_225
> Party-vi
01/12/2016 at 14:00 |
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/raiseswindowblinds
Shit, these things always go up crooked. Dammit...hang on...almost there...there we are.
Did you read, or did you skim? You misinterpreted every single point. I think you skimmed. I should hope your professors have taught you not to just skim.
/dropswindowblinds
Shit, crooked again! I knew I should have bought those powered shades.
*And yes, I think I could do better.
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RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht
> DoYouEvenShift
01/12/2016 at 14:01 |
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Some excellent points. Two of those, however, the crazy, fun ones, are from over a decade ago.
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DoYouEvenShift
> RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht
01/12/2016 at 14:06 |
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Some kind of antigravity levitation is in the works Im sure. Its the next logical step after magnetic ride.
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RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht
> DoYouEvenShift
01/12/2016 at 14:11 |
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Well, it did seem to be a Cadillac in Captain America. You’re expecting Cadillac to revive the Stark Industries partnership? After 70 years?
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DoYouEvenShift
> RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht
01/12/2016 at 14:42 |
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Never saw any of those movies lol
Daily Drives a Dragon - One Last Lap
> Land_Yacht_225
01/12/2016 at 15:21 |
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I asked about an Escalade V and all I got was an answer saying it would pollute the image of the V brand.
472CID
> Land_Yacht_225
01/12/2016 at 15:37 |
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“Again, we are not in war, full stop. A war about horsepower and cylinder count cannot be won. There will always be someone who delivers more. Who needs 1,001 horsepower?”
Yeah that respose drove me nuts. Where’s the company going to be in 10 years with that attitude? Might as well go back to rebadging lower cars like Lincoln.
nermal
> 472CID
01/12/2016 at 15:48 |
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Yes, a war about horsepower and cylinder count CAN be won. With more horsepower and cylinders. Duh.
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nermal
> yamahog
01/12/2016 at 15:56 |
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For starters, not coming across as such a weenie.
Dude needs a lesson in American.
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Land_Yacht_225
> V12 Jake- Hittin' Switches
01/12/2016 at 16:05 |
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Company’s heritage? What are you talking about? We here at Cadillac have only existed since 2006. We categorically deny ever producing a 16 cylinder vehicle either in the 1930's or 2003. We would also like to ask that the words DeVille, Seville, and Fleetwood please be struck from the public record. Please direct any further slander to our legal department, and we hope you will be enticed by the 2018 CT8 with tri-turbo, three cylinder power.
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V12 Jake- Hittin' Switches
> Land_Yacht_225
01/12/2016 at 16:09 |
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But is it an all carbon fibre(note the fancy euro spelling) hybrid tri turbo 3 pot ?
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Land_Yacht_225
> yamahog
01/12/2016 at 16:13 |
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Nothing he could have said. I guess my overall point of “if we don’t learn anything new, why the hell should we do it at all” wasn’t clear.
Why even entertain the automakers if all we are going to get is evasion and vague generalities. Isn’t it the job of everybody in the marketing department, all the way up to VP, to make me want to buy their product?
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Land_Yacht_225
> V12 Jake- Hittin' Switches
01/12/2016 at 16:16 |
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With a carbon fibre CVT, because that will make it as smooth as an 8 cylinder...
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V12 Jake- Hittin' Switches
> Land_Yacht_225
01/12/2016 at 18:13 |
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Ahh, now I see the error in my ways. Besides, V8's are much smoother than any peasant V12 .
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Land_Yacht_225
> V12 Jake- Hittin' Switches
01/12/2016 at 18:28 |
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I have to imagine the 500cid got as close to 12 cylinder smoothness as any V8 every has. What did that thing idle at? 20RPM?
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V12 Jake- Hittin' Switches
> Land_Yacht_225
01/12/2016 at 18:39 |
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18 rpm. And when it comes to smoothness,displacement/cylinder count always wins .